The House of the Dead Ponies: Overkill
by Wubs4Eva
Summary: My first fanfic. T.H.O.T.D meets MLP:FiM. Applejack as G. Vinyl Scratch as Issac Washington.
1. Introduction

Hey all. This is my first fanfic, so be kind when writing reviews. In case you hadn't guessed yet, this is a ponified spoof of 'The House of the Dead: Overkill', found here:

wiki/The_House_of_the_Dead:_Overkill

Names are changed, genders flipped, and the fourth wall seems to have disappeared. The F-Bombs and some swears are toned down, however. I do not wish my fanfic to come to the attention of my school, so please understand my decision.

Whether you are a brony/pegasister, or a hardcore T.H.O.T.D fan, I am sure you will enjoy it. Those of you who are neither, read on and enjoy all the same.

Rated T for language and possibly gore.


	2. Papa Whooves's Palace of Pain

Act 1

Overkill - /oh-ver-kill/n.

1. The capability to obliterate a target with more weapons than are required.

2. Any excess of what is required, or suitable.

Vinyl hoofed AJ across the face.

"Wassup, motherbucker!"

They met as adversaries.

"What the buck? Where's that voice coming from?" Vinyl hissed.

Ignore me.

"What the hay? Where are you?"

Stick to your script, ladies. Or I'll exhaust the bass cannon on Sweet Apple Acres, then Octavia.

"Fine! Fine." AJ pleaded.

Now where was I? Oh yeah. They met as adversaries.

"What the buck was that for?"

A monster made them allies.

"Is this where I'm supposed to laugh maniacally?"

Yes, Dr Whooves. Yes it is.

"Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha..."

A secret agent. Immaculate. Intelligent. A rookie.

They call her only AJ. Her identity – a mystery.

"You ever gonna tell anyone what that bucking AJ stands for?" Vinyl threatened.

Faced with a horde of zombies, AJ simply replied, "No."

A playstallion disc jockey. Vinyl Scratch. Make her mad, and she'll rip your cupcakes off.

"I'm gonna motherbucking rip your cupcakes off!" She yelled, as she unloaded two full rounds on the mutant ponies, as G referred to them. She was unusually paranoid about the 'Z' word.

Tonight, these unlikely allies will confront terror most foul, in the bloodsoaked halls of... Papa's Palace of Pain.

"Nice alliteration, sugarcube."

Why thank-gah! Stick to the script! Pretend I'm not here.

"How are we using guns again?" Vinyl questioned.

Just. Just start this miserable performance already.

"Whatever you say, hun."

Be a courteous guest.

Taking point outside the side door, Vinyl said, "By tomorrow morning. I'll have my motherbucking revenge. Papa Whooves will be dead."

Cocking her standard issue P.O.N.I.E.S (Preventing Otherworldly Nuclear Instance, Equestria Squadron) Magnum, AJ retorted, 'If we don't stop this mutant outbreak, we'll all be dead."

Because your first visit, will be your last.

"Horseapples! I think I slept with that stallion!" Vinyl seethed, mowing zombies down in the foyer of the mansion.

Progressing through the living room and the first of many recreation rooms, AJ came across a green leaf, hovering in midair.

"Your call, I'm not touching that." Vinyl spat out. "And I suggest you focus, like now!" as a platoon of mutants swarmed up the windows.

The Slo-Mo-Fo. High on Drugs? Not likely. Able to slow down and null your senses, slowing down your perception of time.

On an impulse, AJ shot it. She gasped as she felt time slow down drastically. Looking back at her partner, who was singlehandedly fending off zombies, she unloaded a clip. And that was when she found the surprise.

Each bullet Vinyl shot, AJ shot three. In no time at all, the headless zombies were sprawled on the ground.

"You must have been tripping so much balls. Time slowed down? Ha! You really are high, aren't you?" "I'm serious, Vinyl!" Applejack yelled back as they burst into the main entrance's lobby.

"Holy wubs." "Yer don't have to say it again." "Holy wubs." "Yer just bucking with me, aren't you?" "Indeed I am." "I'd outta knock you upside the head." The duo conversed, as they stared at the weakening front door. Many hooves, belonging to the mutants were banging on them, on the verge of breaking it.

"How long do we have? Next to none, I motherbucking bet." Vinyl cursed, unaware of the entity that crept up on her from behind.

A single gunshot resounded as the mutant stallion dropped dead, head now a gory mess of brain matter.

"Up the staircase! Now!" Applejack whinnied as the door gave way.

"I got this!" Vinyl yelled as she unloaded her chamber.

"What the buck are you doing? Aim lower, you son of a-"

*Snap!* The rope went as the chandelier collapsed. Right on top of the mutants.

"Which way?" AJ hollered as Vinyl turned around.

"Left!" "Got it!" And the two of them blasted their way through another horde.

Passing the first of many bedrooms, they came to the north balcony.

"How much ammo yer got left?" AJ asked.

You guys have endless ammo. I thought I told you that before we started the game.

"Really? Ahn I was getting so riled up about running out fer nothin'?"

Yes. Yes you did.

"Aw, filly-fooler."

"Shut the buck up, AJ." Vinyl hissed as she blasted a zombie that was becoming dangerously close to AJ.

"Thanks for the assist."

As they burst into the second bedroom, they were greeted by an ambush of zombies, who managed to hoof Vinyl.

"You motherbucking pieces of shit! Die! Die! Die!" Vinyl screamed, as she singlehandedly placed a headshot in their skulls.

Psycotic!

"What was that, sugarcube?"

Ignore me already!

Proceeding through the hall, east balcony and another bedroom, they were about to enter a hall, when a retching sound erupted from a nearby bathroom. Peeking inside, they found a zombie hunched over a toilet. Quickly shooting it, they turned back.

"Er... Vinyl? Is it just me, or is the ceiling shaking?" AJ queried.

The next moment, the ceiling gave way, and four obese mutants stumbled out of the rubble. They were quickly dispatched.

Passing into the hall, they saw, to their terror, a silhouette of Lyra staring down numerous mutants. "Help! I don't want to die like this!" She screamed. The mutants took another step forward, and suddenly, their heads had exploded into mushy flesh. Vinyl, cocking her Benelli Nova shotgun, yelled, "Lyra! Get out! Don't let them bite you!" Heeding her advice, Lyra burst past them through the way they came.

Opening another door, the two mares fought to control their stomachs as a stallion's head rolled down the stairs, coming to a stop at AJ's feet. "Shit, girl. That ain't right at all!" Vinyl groaned.

Walking up the stairs, they turned into another room. "Help me!" a familiar voice echoed. AJ, grabbing her Franchi SPAS-12, burst into the room, and blasted the mutants into the wall, carefully avoiding Bon-Bon.

"Shit! I bucking hate these zomponies!" "Vinyl! Mutants! How many times do I have to tell you not to use the 'z' word?"

Exploring into the heart of the mansion, they came across an express elevator. At the same time, an entire army of zombies flooded the passageway behind them.

"Express elevator to hell, going-""Shut up and press the damn button!" AJ obliged, and the doors shut with a clang.

Down the rickety elevator they went. As soon as they thought they were fine, a loud snap was heard. "I think we shoulda taken the STAAAAAAAAAA-" AJ yelled as she and Vinyl shot up to the elevator roof. Unattached to anything, the lift rushed down at breakneck speeds, only stopping when they hit the ground.

Dusting her Stetson, AJ stood up painfully. "Vinyl, you okay?" "No, I am not goddamn okay! Asshole!" "Shake it off. We need to move. By the looks of this sewer, I'm betting my hat that those good-fer-nothing mutants are here too."

Walking on in the dark murky sludge, they turned right at the first intersection to find-

"What in tarnation? Pard'ner, correct me if ahm wrong, but is that an operating table?" "Sure is. I was on one. High school life was crazy."

As if on cue, the mutants sit up.

"Aw, dagnabbit."

Blasting their way through the sewer's two operating rooms, they tumbled into a third room, where any lunch the two agents had were threatening to reappear.

Two mutants, one obese and the other, pitifully thin, were loading the dead body of Flim and Flam into a meat grinder.

"I can't say I'm sorry to see them go, but still... Who taught these guys table manners?" "Holy crap! I've never seen this kind of shit before!" "Not even after watching Night-mare on Elm Street?" "No!" "So what's the game plan? You restrain the subject and I'll lead interrogation?" "Buck that, Colombo! Shoot to maim!" They argued, as they shot down the four mutants.

"Help!" "How many are there?" Vinyl cursed as she took down the zombies who were surrounding Colgate. "Thank you! I'll send the lift back down when I'm up!"

"Should we tell her it ain't working?" "Let her figure it out herself."

Arriving at the third and final door, AJ joked, "Fourth time's the charm?" "Bust it."

*pan into laboratory*

A sadistic crime lord, master of a perverse science.

"My darling Cherry Jubilee, do you- can I get a raise?"

No.

"But I can't stand acting evil!"

Fine. 20 bits more and no more than that.

"Deal. Now, where was I? Oh yes, do you have a present for me?"

They call him Whooves.

"Our test subjects at the hospital are showing progress. You've done very well, my girl. We shall celebrate tonight with take-out Chinese!"

A brilliant mind, with a broken body.

"You've. Gone. Too. Far. Whooves."

Her mind turned to evil to protect her engaged, Braeburn.

"You impudent cripple. Think of your husband next time you threaten me. Next time you speak, turn the volume to zero. Bucking cabbage."

"Nobody. Threatens. Braeburn!" as she jabbed a needle through her thigh.

The ultimate sacrifice.

"Freeze, bitches!" Vinyl yelled.

An eerie bloodcurdling scream erupted. "Hasta la vista!" Whooves mocked.

Because of the shocking nature of the following scenes, they are definitely not recommended for the squeamish or easily offended.

"What the hay? Teleki- Telike- Teli-" "It's Telekinesis, you dumb broad!" Vinyl hissed, dodging the chairs. "Aim for its head!" AJ yelled as the hovering furniture was peppered by bullets. Cherry let out a primal scream as one bullet found its mark.

"Duck!" "Where? Oh sh-" Vinyl was promptly flung across the room by a chair. "You bucking cripple!" she roared as she switched to her Benelli Nova. As they continued their assault, AJ noticed Cherry was getting weaker and weaker. She moved slower, and was taking more bullets.

"There!" AJ yelled as she let loose. All six bullets found their mark at the jaw of Fleur's engorged face. Dropping to the ground, AJ was astonished to find she was still alive!

A family, betrayed and broken.

"Tell. My. Fiancé. I. Love. Him."

"Buck! How do you say that without opening your mouth! AJ, do you see this shit?"

An act of mercy.

"It. Hurts. So. Much."

"I can help ease the pain."

"No you can bucking not! Shoot the bucker!"

"Don't you do tact? That is exactly, what I'm going to bucking do. Y'know-"

"Shut the buck up and shoot! Damn!"

A series of gunshots sounded. Cherry Jubilee stopped breathing.

"Happy now, you bucking prick?"

"You fiends! You shot my fiancée!"

"You're her fiancé?"

"You're... her fiancé?" Vinyl drooled.

Braeburn. A doting husband, kidnapped to keep Fleur at bay.

"Who are you?"

For the last, frikkin' time, GET BACK TO YOUR SCRIPT!"

"Oh, shucks, okay."

Now, he is filled with a primal hunger for revenge.

Mankind's last hope rests on the hooves of these two mares.

"Papa Whooves is heading to the hospital. We need to stop that asshole before he gets there."

"Tasteful ride."

"Don't disrespect the Bass-Benz. She's my pride and joy."

Scarcely a second later, the Benz was no more. It had exploded.

"My... pride and joy..."

"We'll take my car, sugarcube."

The Plantation House has claimed its victim, but with Papa Whooves on the loose, no one is safe.

"You died trying to stop Whooves. I used to hate him," Braeburn snatched the Mossberg 500, "but now, it's personal."

He said a prayer, and walked out.


End file.
